On the ground

I've got a couple pictures I wanted to put up, but that would require the use of the USB port, and because the USG has been hammered by a virus that spreads via USB drives we cannot use them anymore on most DoD computers. And I mean *cannot* as in denied by Active Directory Policy.

And yeah, I could edit the registry to get around that, but I would likely wind up on the next flight home. Which *would* let me post the pictures, but I don't think it would be worth it.

I've been trying to get commercial internet access--I'm this >< close, but the provider over here that covers the area where my room is does it at a hobby. It's complicated.

When we last left off, I was sitting in the Atlanta Airport waiting for a flight to Dulles, where I would be catching a flight to Kuwait City.

Of *course* my flight was delayed, which put me in Dulles minutes before the next flight was due to leave (note, due to LEAVE, not due to board). This meant a run through the airport AGAIN.

I hate flying. It's uncomfortable, unpleasant, undignified and generally annoying. And this is BEFORE the people allegedly running the airlines get involved in deliberately trying to ruin your day.

The "hop" from Dulles to Kuwait City was around 12 hours, and was done on a Boeing 777. It was not very crowded, so I was able to spread out a little.

The Airport in Kuwait was odd--their were no smoking signs everywhere, but the whole place smelled like an ashtray. It had a designated smoking area (at least one) that was a 10x10 glass cube *packed* with people.

I don't think that cube was vented outside. I think it was just a box. Which explained the smell.

The last hop was on Gryphon Airlines (http://flygryphon.com/), and the Gryphon Rep met us at the airplane (there were a bunch of us) and walked us over to the ticketing counter--we didn't have to actually enter Kuwait formally, which was nice.

Flying into BIAP is a little odd--especially at night. The pilot of the Gryphon airplane (I believe they have only one) informed us that US Military policy was that flights into the military side of BIAP (Baghdad International Airport) come in with cabin/cockpit lights off. Which is probably true. He also brought us on the high speed low drag steep corkscrewing decent designed to thwart SAMs, which he is (allegedly) the only pilot still flying since there hasn't been a missile attack at that airport in 4 or 5 years.

This whole thing is odd because from the windows (at night) flying into Baghdad looks flying into any middle to large sized city airport in the US--there are street and parking lot lights as far as the eye can see, and there is (from 10k feet) no evidence that you're flying into what was until recently a war zone.

It's also odd because *none* of the commercial planes that land go through any of this. It is completely conceivable that as we were corkscrewing into the military side of BIAP running hot and black there was a Al Dente' flight lining up on the other runway on a long slow decent with the cabin lights on.

They probably got a jetway too.

We got dumped out on the tarmac.

I was met at the Airport by my team lead, we collected my luggage and I was taken to the temporary lodging--at 20 man tent. It wasn't bad--it was pretty close to the latrine and showers. Fortunately I only had to stay there one night--by the next day I had been assigned a "trailer".

Half step back.

Everybody working for the US Government/DoD on military bases in Iraq is required to have a "Common Access Card"--a government ID. If you are a Civilian you have some sort of "Letter of Authorization" which is basically the civilian equivalent of military "orders". This LoA states what sort of "privileges" you have--in my case it states I have access to Billeting, Commissary, dining facilites etc. etc.. (Unfortunately it does NOT say that I'm authorized "weapons" (which to the military means guns guns guns, I can have some sort of knife. Thanks guys. I don't walk around Menlo freaken park unarmed and now you've got me in a war zone with no gun)).

Anyway, your CAC is supposed to have a subset of your "Authorizations" listed on it--so that when you present your ID to the guard at the Dining Facility (called a DFAC instead of the more correct "Chow Hall" by the contemporary Army) they know you're authorized to be there. Ditto the PX (aka "the Exchange" aka "Store").

Military peeps don't have these Authorizations on their CAC--they are authorized everything (including weapons), so they don't need it.

I mentioned in my previous email that I had been doing some processing at Ft. Benning. The area/process I was going through is called "CRC", which stands for "CONUS Replacement Center". One of the obfuscatory names I think.

Anyway, on the first day of CRC one of the speakers was giving us a lecture about maintaining a "good" (aka "proper") attitude. He told a joke about a "study" that was done on children and attitude.

Researchers took a huge room and filled it with at least one of every toy they could find, this room had EVERYTHING a kid could want in the way of distractions. The took a kid and put him in there. This kid had a bad attitude, and all he would do is wander around and listlessly kick at the toys. When asked why he said "It doesn't matter what I do, the toys will break anyway, or someone will come take them away or I'll get bored. I'm not having a good time".

So for the second experiment they removed all the toys and filled the room up half way with horse droppings, then stuck a second kid in there. The kid immediately started digging through the droppings throwing the stuff everywhere in his excitement. When they stopped him and asked him why he was so happy to be half buried in excrement he said "With all this sh!t around there's GOT to be a pony somewhere".

I'm sure that someone with limited exposure to the military might find this amusing.

I'm also sure that the *average* exposure to the military and government amoung these contractors was 10 years.

We all knew that there weren't gonna be no pony there.

At Ft. Benning when I was issued my CAC, it did not have any of these Authorizations listed. Other contractors there DID have some listed. So I asked the Cadre at hte processing center about this and was informed that that was OK.

I pushed back--I was afraid that when I got to Camp Victory that I would have problems. The Soldier I was speaking to asserted that I would have no problems, that "no one checked that anyway". I pushed back and she said she'd call and ask during normal office hours.

Which she didn't. I guess she was combing her pony.

Back in Iraq I was given a cot (You can buy your very own cot here: http://www.uscav.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=7547&utm_medium=shoppingengine&utm_source=googlebase&cm_mmc=Google%20Base-_-Products-_-SF-_-V1) in a tent, and given some sheets and a couple blankets. These cots were a little odd in that they're standard military/camp cots, but KBR (Kellogg, Brown, and Root--the organization that runs/maintains most of the facilities here) then went back and put a not-quite-twin sized mattress on them.

And by put I don't mean they bolted, glued, taped or otherwise secured them on. Oh no. They just laid them right down on top.

Yeah. You have this cot, which is about 17 inches wide with a narrow twin mattress-I'd guess about 28 inches wide--on top of it.

Oh, and they were out of pillows.

So Paul (my lead) gave me a ride to the "small PX" where I could get a pillow and pillow case, plus a few other small things.

Except that the...Uh...people at Benning had screwed up my ID, so I couldn't get into the PX. Can't even get a saddle for that pony.

Wonderful. I'm not on the ground and hour and already the Military Bureaucracy is causing me problems.

Fortunately (1) Paul offered to go in and buy me the pillow and pillow cases and (2) I am able to access these facilities with my CAC card AND my LoA. So I can eat, get my laundry done, and buy stuff at the PX until I can get a new CAC issued.

Except that last bit is proving to be a challenge.

CAC cards are so-called "Smart Cards", and as such require a specific bit of hardware to print and load the data on them.

Of the 10 places I've contacted regarding fixing my CAC, 7 of them have broken printers, one was completely out of blank cards, one insisted on an appointment for the 26th (note that I made this appointment on my first full day here--the 17th), and the last one wouldn't fix my card because my LoA lists my end of contact date as the 14th of February.

I'll probably get the same answer when I go in Wednesday for the appointment.

So anyway, I got a pillow--a rather thin thing--and laid down to sleep.

The next day I was assigned a room in a trailer, and moved my stuff over. Interestingly enough my roommate is from East Palo Alto, and formerly worked for Cisco doing junior level IT/Router stuff.

I also started work. Sort of. Heck, a week later and I'm still "sort of" started. Partially this is because of..well, things here are complicated.

Modern networks are by there nature very complex, and when you have what is essentially is two country-wide networks where there is about a 95% turnover in users AND admins every 18 months you're going to have a LOT of barely documented complexity and a lot of "WTF". Where the W can be one of What, Why or Where.

Another big challenge here is hydration management. The Military provides us with bottled water--they have a plant here on base that process water from the (I think) Euphrates and makes about 500k bottles of water a day. I've driven by it, or at least the distribution point for it.

Holy cow crud Batman, that's a LOT of bottles of water (Pics coming as soon as I can).

The problem then isn't *staying* hydrated, it's getting a good nights sleep. When waking up and having to go at 2 in the morning entails getting out of bed and making that short walk down a carpeted hall, that's one thing. When it involves getting up, getting your trousers on, putting on your shoes (or flip flops), grabbing your keys and your coat and walking 200 feet to the latrine, then 200 feet back etc., you DO NOT go back to sleep right away. When you have to do this 2-3 times a night you soon learn to cut your fluid intake in the later part of the day.

I'm still very much "settling in". I've got about 72 square feet of space in my trailer, and I've got 2 small wall lockers, a night stand, a bed, some crummy plastic drawers (that are going away soon) and a folding camp chair (these last two were abandoned by a previous tenant. Who also left a small refrigerator).

There isn't a lot going on here. There's a bit of work to be done--some sections have it worse than others--my roommate's group is being hammered by this:
http://cyberinsecure.com/usb-devices-containing-worms-threaten-us-army-all-removable-devices-temporarily-banned/ for example, but we're just moderately busy most of the time. Well, I'm not because I'm still learning the network and the lay of the land.

On the "war" front it is VERY quite around here. The guy that I replaced had been keeping a "Rocket Free Days" counter, and I guess the day he left it stood at 163--that was 8 days ago, and I've not heard any explosions since I got here.

There is gunfire every morning, but that's just the practice/qualification ranges.

A couple people have asked for my mailing address and offered to send stuff that I may need.

Seriously, I've got it pretty good compared to a lot of soldiers here. I have a roof over my head, I can take a shower every day, and there is hot food at the DFAC. I can go to the small PX almost any time, and the Big PX whenever I need to. I really don't *need* much, and what I do need Barb is taking care of (things like prescription meds &&etc.).

The only exception is if anyone knows someone in theater that needs someone to hang on to a G26 or a Kahr PM909, I'd be more than happy to assist. Especially if they can get my LOA changed to allow it :)

If you really want to send something, find some poor grunt in the hinterlands and send him a box of homemade cookies, or a big box of baby wipes. (http://www.adoptaussoldier.org/ or http://soldiersangels.org/index.php?page=adopt-a-soldier).

That said my mailing address this month is:
Christopher Petro
(something removed)

One of the amazing things here is that moral is *really* good among the Military personnel. They are usually more cheerful here than in the states (not everyone of course, some are ungruntled, guess they can't find their pony either).

Overall things are going ok right now. I'm mostly over my cold, and things are starting to be routine here. I do miss Helen and Barb, but these things have to be done. It could be worse, it could be snowing. Which would make that dang pony awful cold.

Regards,
Petro.
:wq